a theological gallimaufry

I wrote this poem a while back, in lieu of the election, about love and hate. The poem really isn't that great, but at the time I wrote it it started me thinking about love more. Since then it's been a recurring topic that I've been wrestling with. My thoughts are more scattered than usual. Please bear with me.

I was leafing through the famous christian devotional book, My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers, and though I'm sure the book is as good as everyone says it is, I noticed a trend. I noticed that for just about each point he made, (and he makes 365 of them) it could in its essence be boiled down to one of two things: love your neighbor as yourself, and love the Lord Your God with all your soul, strength and mind. Chalk up two points for Jesus.

I've been thinking a lot lately about love and what it means. According to Jesus, the two greatest commandments both revolve around love. Love your neighbor as yourself and love the Lord Your God with all your soul, strength and mind. He must've been a pretty smart guy because the more I think about it (and I have been thinking about it) these two commandments cover just about everything else. And to think he answered that on the spot, off of the top of his head. I've been thinking about it for a month and still haven't wrapped my head around it. What does it mean to love your neighbor as yourself? How much do you love yourself? Enough to make sure you eat 3 meals a day? Enough to make sure you are warm in winter? Enough to make sure you have access to fun things like TVs and baseball games? Enough to get an education? If I think about it, I do a whole lot of things for myself, and nothing for my 'neighbor.' What would it look like to truly love them as much as I love myself? That's what I've been trying to figure out. All I know is a few things: It's more than just a general acceptance of people--because anyone can do that, Paul says love is not self-serving, and Jesus commands it above all else. No wonder so many people don't want to be christians; that's no easy calling.

Aaron Weiss was doing an interview a while ago and he was talking about when he became a christian how his parents (mom a Sunni muslim and dad a jew) were very uneasy because they were worried that he was going to try to convert them all the time. But he said he came to a realization that it wasn't his duty to convert anybody, but to love everybody and that God would bring about the conversion of their hearts if that's what was needed. I can't help but to agree (and remember loving everyone is more than just a general acceptance or a warm fuzzy feeling; in the words of DC Talk: Love is a verb.)

So I guess my point is just to get you thinking about love and what it means. Maybe you have a better understanding than I do. But I'm getting tired of reading about it, thinking about it, and not doing it. I am supposedly a child of God, a co-heir with Christ. I want to live up to that.

God is not only a merciful god, but He wants us to be merciful to others.

"Now then, you Pharisees clean the outside of your cup and dish but on inside you are full of greed and wickedness. You foolish people! Did not the one who made the outside make the inside also?"
-Jesus, as if he were speaking directly to me.

I guess I'll share the poem that inspired this, seems like a fitting end to an unresolved blog.

They started a fire.
Screaming. Inspiring the opposite of what [He] said.
You're better off dead, the gist of it.
They say it's pretty grey.

But the question is marking the punctuation of something that never should have ended.
Like George Bush getting detention. Or suspended.
Little league politics.
Arguing guns and taxes with redneck hicks.
Or pompous 'einsteins' and their million-dollar stock picks.
Tax breaks! or no tax breaks the plane of x and why do anything when nothing really matters?
Like voting or eating Pizza Hut till the whole world's fatter. Or climbing up the corporate ladder.
Stepping on backs, shoulders, heads to get to the top. But when you get there where are you really?
Besides on someone's head that now is splattered. So why stop?

If kids are crying, hurt and hiding in the streets.
People can't get money so they're stealing what should be free. Like taste and decency.
Living on the street with empty houses on that same exact street.
I say it might be time to re-define equity.
Even I got a college degree and learned that no one's really winning when people can't afford to eat.

So we're back to screaming with words like flames about wars and politics.
With nothing at the root of it.
Except for backwards agendas and black and white presidents.
Except there's so much grey.

So.

So maybe Jesus knew what he was talking about. The love of money.
Well I hate it.
I want to throw it all away.
If you want something I'll give it to you if you'll return the favor.
Maybe then I could forget my greed and go back to loving my neighbor.

if I found you you're stuck. STUCK.
So close your eyes. Think about that person you hate.
Who supports that person you hate. Who hates who you don't hate. Your hate his hate hate hate. Your hate.

Think about it.

And then forget it. Count to onetwothreefourfiv- well see if you can get to ten.
And if you can't then try again.
And maybe by then it'll go away. All of your hate will fly away like the birds on the road when my car zooms by.